Your cat is fat
We have a cat inherited from the neighbor before he moved away. I wasn't there for the conversation, but my wife is a total animal lover. Goes over the top for them. So, in my mind it went down something like this.
Neighbor: We're moving.
Wife: Yes. We'll take your cat.
I'm sure there was something more to it, but the net result is that we went from one kind furry thing to one kind furry thing plus a mean furry thing. Ajax is his name and he's an outdoor cat. The first day we had him I said, "Where's Ajax?" and before the kids could answer he came trotting by with a bluejay in his mouth.
Like I said, he's mean.
Being an outdoor cat, he will occasionally disappear. For a day or two. Showing up on the doorstep like nothing happened, looking skinny and ragged, then sleeping like the dead for two days. We started calling him Driftwood.
Lately, he has been disappearing for up to a week, and when he comes back, he's fat. He still acts nonchalant and sleeps it off, but something's amiss.
The mystery was solved by my neighbor. She saw a man walking a dog with a little fat gray cat following behind and asked if that cat was his. He said, "No. He just follows us sometimes. My wife feeds him and keeps him in the mudroom when it's cold and then he disappears for a while."
The neighbor laughs and tells him we are the cat's owners.
I tell my wife the story and immediately wonder if this is our chance to get rid of him. My wife is deep in thought. "Are you wondering if he's as mean to them as he is to us?" I ask.
"No. I just hate that one of the neighbors thinks we're bad pet owners."
I guess he's staying.
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