“I can’t fast forward time and I can’t make people move faster...the only thing I can manipulate is me.” - Nedra Glover Tawwab, social worker, in the NYTimes.

This week I talked to a few job-hunters and my usual grip of business development peoples. At a high level, it's a similar conversation because in order to be effective in either finding new business or a new job, it's best to focus on what you can control. Sounds easy, but it's not.
Let's start by taking a look at what's NOT in our control:
- The prospect's/employer's thoughts.
- What the prospect/employer thinks of you, specifically.
- The prospect/employer's behavior.
- The prospect/employer's ability to do their job.
- The prospect/employer's interactions with others.
- The prospect/employer's habits.
- The prospect/employer's success.
- How the prospect/employer takes our advice.
- How the prospect/employer reacts to stressors.
- How the prospect/employer acts vs. our instruction.
The list is pretty long. To contrast, let's look at what is under our control:
- Our thoughts – "our intentions."
- Our actions – "our technique."
Looking at that grid up top, it's lower right. High-control for us, low-control for them. The spot I see both business developers and job hunters get stuck is where we have high-control, and the prospect/employer has high-control. It really feels like we should be able to influence or persuade them, but it's tough work because so much of it is in their control.
It's like when I go to walk Wilson the Amazing Border Collie. He loves walks, but when I move toward him with the harness, he moves away. When I pull him close to attach buckles, he pushes away. Even though we both want the exact same outcome, we can't seem to agree on how to get there.
My advice is to concentrate on the areas you have in your control. Focus on the purity of your intentions, and get better at your technique. The rest will take care of itself.
And if you're trying to walk Wilson, move away from him with the harness and he'll come to you. Crazy dog.
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