"You'll shoot your eye out." – said everyone to Ralphie

Our children are long past the toys for Christmas stage. The time in their lives when a $20 piece of plastic made them happy for months at a time. Someday we may be graced with the presence of grandchildren but until then I have many simple toy memories to revisit and revise as I walk the dog.
I may have mentioned that I have three main tracks I use for walking Wilson the Amazing Border Collie. One is a three-mile jaunt around the big park, one is a two-mile crawl through the neighborhood, and the last is a one-miler that winds around a little speck of a park near my home, Metcalf Park. A combination of weather, attitude, and ambition determine which route we take. Now that the mercury is hovering around 30F the one-miler wins most days.
I have favorite sights on these walks, and Metcalf Park has a good one. A fifty-foot tall tree that isn't more than 3 feet in diameter when in bloom! It's just a big stick in the winter and right now the big stick has a birds nest at the very top like a little top hat. As we pass the tree I look down and see a little Nerf bullet on the ground, and it takes me back to a Christmas when the Nerf Blaster dart guns first came on the scene.
I procured one knowing that my lovely bride would not be happy with the purchase. The middle child had to be four or five and arming him with a tiny weapon and a magazine of Nerf darts while I went off to work all day would not be appreciated. Someone could lose an eye. But as I stood in Target it was just so cool, and we only get one trip around this rock, so a decision was made.
Once he opened the gift I could feel the icy stare from my left, but I never broke eye contact with the child. I mean, I really wanted to shoot some stuff. We tore the package open and started popping darts around the room. They stuck to framed photos, skidded off under furniture, and brought peels of laughter from, well, me. As my bride started to complain I said something like, these things are harmless, and launched one her way.
And I swear, what I'm about to tell you really happened.
I shot the dart at her and the Nerf bullet hit her square on the forehead, right between the eyes. And stuck.
Needless to say, there was a roar of laughter, and we all fell about the room. The babies spent the next few hours chasing my wife around the house trying to recreate the moment, and by morning the gun went missing. Forever.
Ah, good times.
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