"With great power, comes great responsibility." – Uncle Ben
I've told you about my composter. The Aerobin 400. A model of efficiency. When it's loaded correctly. I'm good at adding wet materials, but not enough dry compost. It's supposed to get up to 140F, but I'm at 95-100F most days. Seems to work anyway.
The finished compost goes into the garden and flower beds. It's full of goodness and the plants thrive. This time of year we have big green tomatoes (multiple heirloom varieties this year), some squash, cucumbers, a few beans, and the roses are fired up. The harvest comes soon.
Once again, as harvest gets here, we'll be out of town. I get to be the old guy leaving an unreasonable number of instructions for the neighbor kids. Water this, but only if seems dry. Pick this if it's ready, but you don't have to eat it. Look out for this, watch out for that. My harvest challenges will become their problem.
I'm become what I've made fun of.
In high school, there was a guy who lived by a park we used to frequent. If you drove down his street after dark, he would jump out from the bushes with a spotlight, taking down your license plate, and threatening to call the cops. He became "the spider man" and when we were bored, which happened a lot, we'd detour by the spider man's house. Once, I remember a line of cars queued up at the end of his block, filled with kids waiting for their turn to harass that man. We laughed and laughed. Poor guy.
I'm about ready to take up the mantle. When I'm in the front and I hear someone tearing down the block, I go to the curb, give them a steely stare, and do the, "really?" shrug and shake, staring as they pass just in case they peek at their rearview mirror.
In another decade, I'll be hiding in the bushes with my spotlight. Those meddling kids will queue up at the end of the block. As each car comes by, I'll jump out and give them a little show, shining my spotlight, and recording their details with my Apple Vision thing. I'm from the future so it will be livestreamed on TikTok or whatever. I'll have an online store and merch too.
I'm ready. I've earned this.
|