“hey, autocorrect, that's not what I was trying to say. You know what? I'm really getting tired of this shirt."

Each week I write these notes, typing over the previous week's entry. Inevitably, I see typos and grammatical errors that I missed the week before. Sometimes it's because I was writing it minutes before I sent it, other times I have no excuse for missing it. (I apologize for any reading discomfort it's caused)
Lately, I'm noticing more errors. Today I saw an error from last week, and I know I fixed it before saving and sending. My conclusion: the robots are working against me. Right now, as I typed the last sentence, my onscreen typing was automatically fixed, but not in a good way.
I think I know why I'm having problems. . .I suck at typing. The robot is trying to predict what comes next or what makes sense, but I'm giving it crappy info with my fat fingers.
In high school, in the middle of my junior year, I switched schools. The new school didn't match the courses I took at the old school, so I ended up in a typing class. This was back in the days of typewriters, so every day we sat in front of IBM Selectrics and did our exercises. The teacher was a nice youngish woman and in week two a classmate said, "you should ask her why she wears purple every Tuesday." I didn't have the nerve, but as sure as the sun rises in the east, she wore a full-on purple outfit every Tuesday. As far as I could tell, she had dozens of these outfits because they were all different, but all head-to-toe purple.
The rumor was she did this because she believed her husband had been abducted by aliens. He was going to be returned to her on a Tuesday, and she needed to wear purple to signal the aliens for the right place to return him to.
Yeah. This is real. My typing teacher was crazy. Lovely, but crazy.
Anyway, with a backstory like that, how could I have been expected to get touch-typing down? I mean, she seemed so normal. A little flighty, but nice. But an excellent typist. Right below that calm exterior was some raging crazy. It affected me. Had to.
I wonder if her husband was returned by the aliens? Come to think of it, I wonder if she ever got on social media? I assume there's a community of purple-clad spouses of alien abductees out there, somewhere.
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