Greg's Right FIT Newsletter #121

Techniques for FIT

• There's a tension between our aspirations and our outcomes, between what we want and what we get from the world. Use that to your advantage by keeping your goals strategic. More "improving ____" than "get to 50 ____." 

• Tech solutions that promise growth, by themselves, are never the answer to growth. Their promise, however, creates tension because we're drawn to stories with happy endings. Note their story, but stick to clearly defining your vision first.

• Success stories from other growing companies create tension. We hear them and think, "we should be doing that," but it's a story. Next time you hear one, mentally insert, "The following is based on a true story." It takes the pressure off.

• Stories are how we make sense of the world. Next week, look for areas where your aspirations are struggling against your actual results. Remind yourself that this tension is productive, and when they make your movie, the screenwriter will embellish all boring stuff.

Being Human - Internal chatter

"It feels like I'm talkin' to myself." Eminem

How you phrase questions in your self-talk is the key to minimizing your effort and maximizing the results you get from yourself.

“How” and “what” questions do something very specific to your brain. We humans have these wonderful machines in our heads, our brains. And most of the work that your brain does is in the background. From looking for snakes, regulating effort, or solving complex problems as you sleep, everyone has felt the power of their brain making life easier.

When we ask our brain “How do I” or “What do I have to do” questions, it goes to work on the answer. In contrast, when we ask our brain “Why do they” or “when will they” questions, it stops working on that problem. That contrast happens because of how the question is phrased. “How” and “what” are open questions that when coupled with the personal pronoun “I,” unleash the brain’s problem-solving prowess. Take those same open questions and put them with a third-party pronoun, “they,” and the brain stops working on a solution because we haven’t asked it for an answer. We’ve asked the outside world to solve our problem.

“When will my people start using their self-identified strengths to get more done in less time?” is nothing your brain will stew over in your sleep. “How can I get my people to start using their self-identified strengths to get more done in less time?” is something your brain will stew over.

Adapted from my book "The Human Being's Guide to Business Growth," 2018

Random Stuff

Is there another way of phrasing that?

When will I ever get a chance to do this again? It's the event of a lifetime. You only go around once. 

These words are rattling around my brain because I'm deep into some thoughts Daniel Kahneman has about the differences between our experiential self and our remembering self. As I read it, while we put emphasis on the experiential self, it's the remembering self that tells our brain the stories and wins out in the end. It's one of the talents that separates us from the other critters. I get it, kind of. Then I put the book down and drift off to sleep. 

The next day I'm sitting with a prospect and trying to concentrate on the stories he's telling when my phone starts rattling around my pocket. By the pattern of buzzes, it must be a whopper of a text conversation that I'm missing.  

When I get out to the car, I scroll through the notes and see that my son has a dilemma. What should he do? Go on a once in a lifetime Kentucky Derby weekend trip with the boys, or go to a semi-formal event with his girlfriend of many years?

That's when it all comes into focus and snaps in place. In my youth, I faced almost the exact same dilemma. My wife-to-be had a semi-formal event and my friends had an impromptu trip that promised to be the event of a lifetime. I can remember thinking something like, "Well, I'm graduating college and won't see these guys again but I'll see my girlfriend all the time; and, hey, semi-formals are boring." 

My experiential self won out that day, and it created a lot of unnecessary tension in my world for weeks, months, and maybe years. Upon reflection, I should have re-phrased my self-talk to put the emphasis on "I'll see my girlfriend ALL the time" because she has an experiential self and a remembering self too. 

Ah, it's all so clear now. 

I send my son a text, "Call me. I have a story." 

This week's song: "Go With the Flow," Queens of the Stone Age. Seems fitting somehow. https://youtu.be/DcHKOC64KnE

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