"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." – Will Rogers

Wilson the Amazing Border Collie is not a big fan of squeakers in toys. Or maybe it's the opposite. Either way, the outcome is the same for every toy: destroyed to get the squeaker.
One day I sat on the back porch doing some work and heard him working a squeaker toy in the back of the yard. It occurred to me there were no active squeaker toys in our lives at the time, so I went to take a look. It was a bunny. Turns out when Wilson puts a bunny in his mouth it makes a squeaker-like noise.
I bring this up because there was an article in the Washington Post, "The Voices We Make When We Pretend Our Dogs Can Talk," and when Wilson tears up a toy or some other naughty thing, I talk to him about it. He doesn't respond in a Werner-Herzog-like voice, or speak very eloquently, but every comment is full of energy and spoken at a fast clip. I tell him he needs to take better care of his toys, and he responds with a version of, “What?You-need-me-to-get-rid-of-a-squirrel?” It tends to be a lot of non-sequitur questions like that. I'd say he's hard of hearing, but I know English is his second language.
The cat has a voice too. She's white, fuzzy, with slightly crossed blue eyes, a chipped tooth, and a crooked walk. Obviously, this means she talks with a slight lisp and is very sassy. She tends to say things like, “Where's that stupid dog? He smells.” or “That's dumb. I wouldn't have done that.”

Wile I give the pets voices, their backstories are all built by my lovely bride. She can construct one in seconds. "Oh, he's growling because he doesn't like your shoes. He came from a farm and a mean farm hand kicked him with shoes like that. He ran away and that's why they found him on the side of a county road." (we got him at the pound, they named him Tater)
Or when she was painting and Bianca (the cat) perched herself on the ladder to watch. "Look! How cute. You know, I bet her previous owner's boyfriend was a painter and he's the one that left the door open when Bianca got out." (got her at the pound too, her name was Brittany)
As you can guess, things are pretty active at Chambers Pivot's Worldwide HQ. Lots to think about.
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