“Guess what I'm thinking." – Ernie on Sesame Street

I am prepping a young person for an interview and offer them a standard piece of advice. Since interviews create anxiety I advise them to think ahead to a possible anxious moment, like when the interviewer asks you a question they don't want to answer. For instance, a gap in your work history you don't want them to ask about. If they ask, "Mr. Chambers, there's a gap in your resume. Talk to me about the years 2010-2020. . ." it's an anxious moment. My advice is to come up with an uncomfortable question they might ask and prep an answer or two. Practice it.
In theory, it helps reduce anxiety and leaves your brain free to listen and respond. Keeps you "in the moment" so to speak.
Speeding up discovery
In a formal sales scenario we do something similar. We know our product isn't an exact fit for everyone. The sooner we discover whether it's a perfect fit or not the better for everyone. I'm not talking about hard product requirements, I'm talking about the soft qualifiers like willingness to fight for a solution internally. To help speed up discovery I teach people a language tactic we'll call "I know what you're thinking."
After a few dozen sales presentations we get pretty good at recognizing patterns in these soft qualifiers. We're not perfect predictors, but I suggest you follow the NYC transit credo, "if you see something, say something" as soon as possible. If you think you recognize a situation say something. Be polite, be willing to be corrected, and be brief.
Example
Here's a quick example from my daily existence. Sometimes I'm talking to people who haven't hired consultants or advisors before. They say something that makes me think, "hmm, I wonder if they've ever hired someone like me?" To save everyone's time I need to address this because I know how long it can take to decide to hire your first one. Since I see it, I say it using preemptive "I know what you're thinking" language like this:
- You may be thinking. . .
- I know what you're thinking. . .
- It seems like. . .
- It looks like. . .
- It feels like. . .
- You're probably wondering. . .
. . .followed by my concern. Like, "You're probably wondering if your company would ever hire someone who just does advising. . ."
I use the ellipses at the end because I use a statement but ask it as a question by leaving a big pause at the end. I let them fill in the rest.
You're probably thinking, but what if you're wrong? It's a good question. If I'm right we get to deal with my concern right away. But if I'm wrong, well, we move on. They may say, "No, I'm not thinking that at all. We hire advisors all the time. As a matter of fact. . ." It's anecdotal, but I have never had this turn into a conversation killer or argument. I use it in the course of discovery and part of discovery is figuring each other out. It's very natural.
Next time you hear something that sets off alarm bells, call it out by telling them what they're thinking. It speeds up discovery and saves everyone time.
Good stuff.
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