Greg's Right FIT #402

Quick notes to help you grow your business in less time with less effort. . . sometime next week. 

In this issue: 

- Thoughts on Words
- Being Human
- Random Stuff

Thoughts on Words

• If your request is low stakes, use the word "because" to persuade the listener to take action. Research shows when we hear the word "because" we are more likely to approve the request, especially in low risk situations.

• Check the use of extreme words in your people. When you hear "always/never/everybody/nobody" and other words that indicate an absolute, question it. Extreme words tend to shut down critical thinking in the speaker and listener. 

• Encourage reluctant speakers to go in depth by repeating the last few words they said as a question. It works with even the most reluctant talkers. Try it. "How was the day?" you say. "Fine," they say. Reply, ". . .fine?" and listen.

• Use the listener's name. Research shows our brains lighting up when we hear our name. Even in a vegetative state. It's a real magic word. Just make sure you're pronouncing it right. 

Being Human - Tiny word, big change

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning." – Mark Twain

A dear cousin to my lovely bride passed away a few weeks ago. I attended a remembrance of her life this weekend and re-learned the power of a word. 

One of my earliest management lessons was the Oreo cookie technique. I was taught that negative feedback, when couched between positive feedback, was an effective way of coaching because it kept the person being critiqued from getting too defensive as you deliver feedback. It sounded great, but in practice it was less than effective. When you started with the good behaviors you could see the listener prepping themselves for the other shoe to drop. They detected a set-up.

I relayed this ineffectiveness to my mentor. He said it usually worked for him and asked me to describe the technique to him, even though he originally taught it to me. As I role-played a feedback session he stopped me as I transitioned between the positive behavior and the one I wanted to correct. 

"There, that word, did you hear it?" I admitted I didn't. 

"Start over again, but instead of using 'but,' try to use 'and'." 

He taught me that "but" is a limiting word in coaching. I hadn't picked up on his use of that word before. He was right. One little word, big difference. 

As I listened to the grieving husband tell stories about his late spouse, he said the word "but," then stepped back, collected himself, and explained how she was teaching him to replace "but" with "and." She told him "and" allowed for multiple truths to exist at the same time. Using "but" ddi not. 

Next time you say "but" while coaching someone up, catch yourself, pause, then rephrase it with "and." We can be good at one element, and bad at another at the same time. The bad part doesn't diminish the good part. They can co-exist. 

Good stuff. 

Rest in peace, amazing young woman. I'm guessing you were an amazing mentor. 

Random Stuff

"The most overrated tool: a pasta maker. Why make it when you can buy it? It’s a lot of work!” — Ina Garten

I learned how to make pasta. Officially. Last year we took a class on making it, and you know what? It tastes like pasta. No minor feat when I get involved.

We have had the pasta attachment for our mixer for, oh, maybe 30 years, but whenever I tried making it, it didn't taste right. I can't quite describe what was wrong with it, but I remember the word "doughy" being used. It turns out my choice of ingredients wasn't ideal, and I wasn't using the pasta roller tool correctly. 

Those days are behind me. From this point on, armed with 00 and semolina flour, I have become pasta machine. Bleep, bloop. 

If you're keeping track, this brings me up to about a dozen food things I can make for you when you come over for dinner. And maybe as many refreshments. Topping it off, the kitchen remodel fits more people, so bring a friend. 

Word of warning: I'm messy and get a little sweaty. Last week, in addition to being liberally coated with flour, I managed to slosh hot pasta water on myself transporting the pot to the sink. Just a little red skin, nothing to be concerned about. More psychological pain than physical. 

You know who isn't a good cook? Wilson the ABC. He adds nothing to the process besides stray furs, being underfoot, and hungry eyes. On top of it, he's a picky eater.

If he could talk I'm sure he'd come up with some reason why it's my fault, in that gruff voice of his. 

Which reminds me, read this and watch the vids: "Wouldn't it be great if pets could talk? This might be the next best thing."

Live your life, Rose!