“Well, I really always wanted to be quite famous, but I don't want to be on your cameras, I don't want to be on your video cameras Mr. Policeman." Billy Bragg, live bootleg of "Great Leap Forward"

Most days Wilson the Amazing Border Collie and I head out for a stroll. Depending on our time limits we have four regular walk routes ranging from 20 to 60 minutes long. I don't take my phone with me on most walks and each time I leave it behind I get panicked. It's crazy how this little device has infiltrated my life, from the need to be constantly available, to the illusion of effective communication, to the phantom ring vibrations I feel in my pants at all hours, it's always there.
Take these dog walks, for instance. When I leave the house I think, "What happens if I get jumped and hit my head? Or what if I'm struck by a random bit of space junk re-entering the atmosphere? Who will tell my people where to find the corpse?"
Doorbell surveillance to the rescue! My across the street neighbor installed a Ring doorbell. It has a motion detector range of 30-feet, so if I head straight over to her gutter and Wilson wanders up a few feet closer, I've left a clue for the workaholic detective with an uncanny intuition for breaking murder cases wide open a place to start.
Our routes start to the south. On the 20 houses we pass before hitting the corner, I count seven surveillance devices. On the rest of our two-mile route, it seems like Wilson and I trigger a disturbingly large number of devices. I see the doorbells, found a few garage door floodlights with cameras, and even saw one of those bubble cameras the bank uses on one house. Dang. It's not even like we live in a crimey area.
The upside is there's a better than average chance you'll see footage of my untimely demise. I'm thinking there's a chance it makes it into one of those Ring commercials.
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