"“You’re not recording this, are you?” “No, never, never.” - Fletch

Back when I used to travel a lot, the organization I worked for started putting limits on expenses. During my first years at the firm, I used to book everything with one airline, one hotel brand, one car rental company, and even used to use my own credit card. I was almost a complete points-whore when the edict came from above. Cut expenses. So I did.
The result was a lot of random hotels and random car rental brands, but one bonus was Southwest Airlines. Their prices were firm-expense-friendly, their planes were on time, and they showered me in free drink tickets. Travel life was bearable.
The one issues I had with SWA is their gate locations. The cities I traveled to always seemed to be in the back of the terminal where six or seven gates were jammed together. More than once I'd get in line at my gate only to discover when trying to board that I was getting on the wrong flight. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it happens! They were always very nice and redirected me before I made a terrible mistake.
My daughter is working for an art auction house now. I have no idea how it all works, but she calls and asks if I will do an online bid on a print for her. She tells me where to go and how much she's willing to spend. It makes me nervous because I don't want to mess up. I log in early and have to sign up for an account. It's pretty straightforward, but I can't tell if I've done it correctly. Not wanting to bug her because she's working, I hatch a plan.
Pick a piece of art and bid on it. If I jump in early, someone will outbid me and I'll be ok. If it's broken or if I didn't register correctly, it will give me an error. A Matisse print comes up next. I've heard of this guy, so I figure it's a good fit.
I bid. It goes through. Then I wait. And wait.
No one else bids.
I win.
It takes all of 60 seconds. There isn't a nice SWA person to gently re-direct me. Nobody to turn to, shrug, and say, "oops, my bad. I'm an idiot."
It's mine, baby.
All mine.
I know how it works now. And before you ask, no, it's not even naked. It's just art.
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