"This is too f'ing big for you, you know that?. . .It's a mystery! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! . . . Don't you get it?! F**k, man! I can't keep talking like this!" – JFK

Who doesn't enjoy a good conspiracy theory? I mean, it's a pain when someone gets really wrapped up in one, can't stop thinking about it, then it impacts their day-to-day life and relationships. Other than that, they can be fun to ponder. For me, the best part is when someone tosses one out in casual conversation because it gives you a glimpse into their head. "Cada cabeza es un mundo," right? Getting a peek inside is a trip!
The CT I hear most often is "the phone is listening and ads are showing up in my social media." I can't seem to replicate it, but I try. I whisper about mattresses, fly fishing, comfortable underwear, and non-stick omelet pans. Nothing.
Today I think I made a breakthrough. I have a big desktop PC. An iMac from 2012 or so. Lately it's been struggling with tasks and it may be time to update. At the same time, my old Macbook Pro is being used by my lovely bride who is instructing online this semester. It's acting up and in need of an upgrade too. This Macbook you see me typing on is circa 2017. It works well but maybe it's time for 3 new PCs? I get to apple.com and spec out three new rigs, note the price, and even take a look at trade in values for the old machines.
Guess what happens next.
Yep, Apple has somehow frozen my big PC. I don't know how they do it, but they know I'm looking and they did something to the operating system. I looked at the source code to the page and found some suspicious stuff, but I don't know how it's done. Yet.
Those jerks are going to force me to upgrade this month!
Don't you get it, man! These big companies do it all the time. Planned obsolescence in the digital age. And you know what? I'm held hostage. I can't break free.
Thanks, ghost of Steve Jobs. Thanks a lot.
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