“Burn old wood, read old books, drink old wines, have old friends." – Alfonso X of Castille

We ripped out the garden. An early snow was heading in, so we took the opportunity to clear out some browning plant life. Overall, our little farm experiment went well this year. Strawberries in the spring, peaches in the summer, hundreds of tomatos, herbs growing everywhere, wild mint attracted butterflies, and I saw more hummingbirds than ever.
It's amazing what can happen when one stays home more than usual. Our canning shelf is bursting with harvest to enjoy during the winter months.
I'm far from a prepper, but I did get the chimneys cleaned and bought some firewood to help pass the colder months ahead. Making and tending a fire is an enjoyable experience. This year I'm trying the "top-down burn" method. I hear it's easier.
The firewood comes from an internet search. The website is a little dated but it has the kind of sales copy that makes me smile. Basically, any objection/complaint/question this one-man show can think of is on the home page. White print on a black background, seven font sizes, and a mix of font styles. I note his more interesting comments and decide to lead with one so as not to sound like a dummy when we talk.
It doesn't work. No matter what I ask, his answers are short and sound like he's muttering "dumbass" after each one. No problem, I think. Focus on the outcome, unlimited cozy fires while ice storms rage outside. This is when I notice the link on his site to "apparel." Hmm. Firewood apparel? I click.
It's amazing. A half dozen illustrated t-shirts. I'd describe the illustration technique as "bad caricatures by a teenage boy." The tees are $27 each, you just let him know what you want.
My favorite is his wedding tshirt. I'll try to describe it.
It's garden wedding scene, big fountain on the side, no groom in site but at the altar you find what looks like Elvira, Pam Anderson, Dita Von Tease, and buxom Doublemint twins all looking very, um, aroused.
Why are they aroused you ask?
Because at the bottom of the scene you see a flannel clad firewood man approaching with a wheelbarrow full of logs. The caption: "You haven't had wood like this since your wedding day."
Like I said, amazing.
I'm reminded some people work by themselves not by choice, but because they have to.
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